Saturday, February 7, 2009

Everything Happens for a Reason

So even though this experience is probably the worst experience of my life, I still really believe that everything happens for a reason. I don't fully understand all the reasons my little girl has had to endure all she has but I know that we have all learned many valuable lessons from the experience and I know we will continue to do so.

First, this experience has really made me realize that I need to do more for other people. I always felt shy about reaching out to people who I didn't really know that were going through hard times. I felt like they may think it was strange. However, given what we have gone through, I have to say that the support of complete strangers (as well as friends and family) has really gone a long way in helping us get through this situation. I can't tell you what all the cards and encouraging notes and calls we have received have done for us all! Thank you to everyone that has reached out. In addition we both have a new found gratitude for organizations like the Ronald McDonald house for helping families in times like we are going through. It is amazing how many families have sick children, it is almost a sub culture of people who deal with sick kids on a daily basis. It isn't an easy existence but charities like the Ronald McDonald house make things so much easier.

In addition, I think about all the things that have happened over the last couple of years that have set me up to deal with this situation. My job for example. When Sammy was first born I worked as a HR Manager. Shortly after she was born, I transitioned into a part time position, and then after Adrian was born I started working from home. If I had a regular job during this time, this situation would have been much more difficult. Thank you FISC for your flexibility with me! There are also many other mental shifts I have made that have set me up to deal with this situation as well. When Sammy was first born I couldn't imagine being a stay at home mom, I didn't transition into motherhood very smoothly, but over time I have learned to enjoy being a mom and learned to relinquish control over certain things. Since I have absolutely no control over our current situation, that is most certainly a good thing. Everything happens for a reason.

Finally, I really feel support from family members that have passed on. Zach's mother, who passed away in 2006 has sent many reassuring signs to both Zach and I during this time and my Memere has been here to support us as well. I know that probably sounds corny to many of you, but honestly their support and the signs they have sent to us have been so incredibly real and reassuring.

This situation is certainly not something I would choose, but I know everything happens for a reason and we are choosing to learn as much from this situation as possible. Please keep sending Sammy your positive thoughts and prayers and I KNOW she will be okay!


  1. I just wanted to say that I totally can understand everything you said and I have alot of respect for parents of sick children. Most of all the support you receive will carry you so far it is unbelievable. We also met many families with all different illnesses during our many admissions with Grace and I have definately gained a whole lot of appreciation for the little things in life. We think of Sammy and the rest of you often. Please if ever you need someone to talk to I am here for you all. Take care and give Sammy a hug. Rae Smith(Lori William's sister), Shawn and Gracie

  2. Hey .. even though the only person that has met or had contact with me is Zach ... I wanted to send my heartfelt prayers and wishes to you and your beautiful little one. I too have a son (4) and I too know how it feels to feel helpless sometimes. So, from the bottom of another father's heart. I pray and hope for a speedy and beautiful recovery.

    Godspeed ... Shane Leketa .. U.S. Cellular Bangor Maine.

  3. Amanda, you have demonstrated such grace during this difficult time and you deserve the joy and relief you are feeling knowing that Sammy is going to be OK. Times like these sometimes restore my faith in the human race. It reminds me that God has a plan for all of us and in today's hectic and crazy world, we just have to listen and see the signs. You are blessed with a great husband and beautiful children. I am so happy for you and know that I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Hope to see you soon.

  4. Amanda,your positive attitude through such a hard time is so inspiring. If we could all look at things the way you have chose to look at your situation, maybe this world would be a better place. As you are learning in this process, you are teaching those around you how to be positive. I know that I look at my children differently ever since you called to tell me about Samantha. I look everyday for the simplicity of it and that quiet moment when I can just be with them. Your family is so strong and remarkable! You will make it through this:)